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Archive of ‘General blather’ category

Why Your Parents Have So Many Wrinkles…

… Because they smiled so much when you were a cute little baby, that’s why.

Yes I have disappeared in fatherhood and pretty much don’t give a shit about anything else so that’s why no bloggy goodness lately.

That and moving house, overseas holiday (Bali), started a new business, and also – because Optus are FUCKING SATAN! – haven’t had internet at home for months.

But the nature of the new business means bulk blogging and more online goodies to come so stay tuned, oh breathless masses…

Meanwhile I think I will go blow another few minutes staring at my gorgeous sleeping baby girl (try not to puke on the carpet kids).

Assumption – the Mother of all F#$* Ups

I get to work this morning, am trying to check emails and RSS, phone rings, I grumblingly pick it up:

(Female) Client: “Good morning, I would like to (conduct business).”

Me: “Ok, no worries, can you give me your phone number so I can look you up on the database?”

Client gives me number, I bring up the record.

Me: “Ok, now this says here that this number belongs to Jason but obviously that isn’t you; can I get your name for the record?”

Client: “What makes you say that?”

Me: “What makes me say what?”

Client: “That I’m not Jason?”

Looooong silence as it dawns on me what I have done….

Me: “Err, because you sound like a woman?”

Thankfully at this point Jason laughs and says: “It’s ok mate, I get it all the time, I have a high voice, it’s true!”

Me: “Jason, I apologise profusely…”

Client: “No seriously it’s ok, I’m used to it. The funny thing is, I am really quite, y’know, big…

What a morning!

Writing for the sake of it

Sometimes I just like to put my fingers to the keyboard and just start tapping out words, in fact that’s what I am doing now. The interesting thing is that although I have started this with absolutely no idea what it is I am going to write, I can be sure that if I write, I will write something.

Of course whether that something is any good is entirely dependable. For example, if a good idea doesn’t come to me soon, I’m bound to get bored, wander off , make a cup of tea, or (heaven forbid) actually start work for the day. So are you for that matter.

On the other hand should some fantastic idea come sliding out of my fingers and all over the screen, then we are in business.

Doesn’t seem to be happening…

But then “what you focus on expands in your life*”, right?

Let’s try focusing on a brilliant idea. Then maybe I’ll get one.

MMMMOOOOOmmm…. brilliant iiiidea brilliant ideaaaaa, ommmmm, brilliant ideaaa, brilliant ideaaa,

MMMmMMMM COME ON Brilliant ideaaaa, I dont have all day for Pete’s sake, MMMMOOOOmmmm brilliaaaant ideaaa, MY BOSS IS GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD Brilliant brilliant idea OOOOmmmmm Brillia-

Ah stuff it. Enjoy your day. I’m going surfing … CBD style …

*Wayne Dyer, I believe. BTW, I have been reading his new book “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life”, which, although suffering from a terrible (boring) title and a freakin’ cheesy-as-cheddar cover, is actually a really good (not quite excellent, but hey, better than you and I will probably ever write) modern interpretation/analysis of the Tao Te Ching. Recommended for those who find the old Classic of the Way and it’s Virtue a bit impenetrable.

Hello from Busy Busy Land

Yes indeed have been a little quiet on the writing front lately due to busyness, the baby is two weeks away, the new position at work is highly demanding, and we moved house, or rather we opened a city-branch so now we have twice the house work to do!

Anyway, I am doing an online course called “TeachingSells” that has me uber uber inspired to get busy online again so stay tuned for that, oh millions of readers, and also I have a CD in the bag (or rather a collection-of-tunes-you-choose-your-preferred-format) so after the bubs is out and about I’ll get on to releasing that.

Ah, Life, she is a joy.

Yesterday I Drank Off Milk…

… and survived!

I came into work pretty early and had first a tea (with milk) and then a coffee (with milk). The tea tasted fine, and the coffee just tasted like a too-strong hastily made coffee with no sugar in it (I prefer sugar but try to resist, usually without success).

Then everybody else arrived and a general squawking went up about the milk being well-off. Somebody rushed off to get some more while I tried to tell if if my belly felt in any way worse than usual, and if I was going to have one of those days.

But no belly ache, no hospitalisation, still alive.

So there you go, from now on I am going to taste the milk rather than just look at the due date.

I mean I would smell it, but if you smell perfectly good milk in a container that’s been open for a day or three it always smells off. This is because the milk around the top of the container is actually off, or at least pretty rank smelling when held directly under the nostril.

The way around this is to pour a sample into a clean glass and smell that.

But it is obviously quicker and easier just too have a quick swig from the carton.

I’m sticking with that.

An Alphabetical Economy

If the economy was based on letters instead of numbers then I’d surely be a rich man by now; I’d have spent the last fifteen years happily playing the market and stockpiling the little blighters.

I love letters so much more than numbers and here’s why:

Numbers are cold and meaningless. If you add some numbers together all you get is more numbers.

But if you add some letters together (in the right combination) you get words and words have inherent meaning.

And discovering Meaning is the purpose of Life.

P.S. We are back from Europe now, safe and sound 🙂 and I am keen as a teen to get on the good foot and get busy … so yippee for stuff!

Paris in the Summer Dahhhling

Well, after a huge car crash on the way to the airport in melbourne that left car of the idiot driver whose fault the crash was written off and our truck pretty bashed up itself although thankfully nobody hurt which was amazing and then a few days in Kaula Lumpar which was cool and then a very scary hairy bumpy flight over to Europe via India and dodgy places like afghanistan and little former Russian countries Id never heard of …

…we are well and good here in very sunny until today Paris, checking out ridiculous amounts of tourists as they check out amazing monuments, sipping ultra expensive coffee in cafes and feeling very chick however you spell that and generally enjoying some no brainer time.

best moment so far is a toss up between the eiffel tower, which i was surprisingly impressed by even though i usually dont care about monuments, and maybe being in MontMart because i recognised it from the film Amilie or probably the view from the modern art gallery the name i forget (not the Louvre) or standing up really close to some awseome famous paintings by Picasso and the like.

or maybe it was just going into a Boulanger (sp?) and asking for a baggette in French like Id been doing it all my life 😉

But probably it is the smile on my girls face as she is so happy to be back home where she is from … we could definitely live here, its much nicer than i expected. just need to figure out that money thing, its a bit on the ouch side 😉 ok maybe after the bestselling hit book!

Mon France et ne pas increyable but I am getting better very quickly. I can honestly say that je parle a petite petite petite pu France although no doubt I cant spell it or pronounce all i know properly. actually mon France et epouvontable, lets be honest!

Lumpy Koala

Lumpy Koala, Malaysia, is actually a lot more down and dirty fun than I expected kind of a smaller Bangkok. Wicked thunderstorm today and eating in small roadside wok-joints and endless shopping malls.

Nice to actually be here too after the huge crash we had on route to the airport. Yes a HUGE car crash (L’s Dad was driving but not his fault, not by a long shot). Nobody hurt but the truck dented up pretty bad and the girl’s car TOTALLED. I felt sorry for her even though she f***ed up royally. Amazingly, we powered on and made the flight.

I honestly thought I was going to die right there and then for about .3 of a second.

anyway all good 🙂 onward and upward eh what?!

bye now, off to France on Saturday. Ha!

France and Ireland – Here I come Baby!

Housesitter is in place, tickets in pocket, Europe here we come!

My strategy to solve the world drug problem will have to wait; I am writing it up, got to 6000+ words but I still have about 4000 to go I reckon.

More on that later … but for now I need to go re-re-re-re-check my packing. We leave at midnight tonight!

How to Solve The Drug Crisis

I am currently building a simple website that will show the world a healthy way to get mind-blowingly high for free.

Those that follow my instructions will never need drugs again yet will be able to get as high as kite any time they want.

I will upload it all in a day or two so come back and check for that.

You can subscribe to this blog of course, the buttons are down to the right (if you need them).

Meanwhile here is some timely writing advice that I just came across.

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